For Kenya.

For two years.

It still hadn't sunk in for me yet yesterday. And when I talked to her, she said it hadn't really sunk in for her either. I mean . . . wow. Africa. Elephants get eaten there. By lions and such.

It kind of hit me today, though. Not that I'll really miss her--I mean, I only see her once every few months as it is. The hard part is the inevitable change that will happen. You can't just trot off to another continent doing missions work for two years and stay the same. She's going to come back a different person, a Stephanie that I don't know.

Not that the change will be bad--I'm sure she'll be an even more wonderful person. But she'll still be almost a stranger because of all the skads of experiences and thoughts and relationships she'll have had that I won't know a thing about.

So I guess it's not like I'll see her any less often. More like she's gone forever.

Growing up is so hard. It's hard to watch my good friends make messes of their lives. Shoot, it's even hard to watch them make good things out of their lives. My friend Mary Beth came by tonight to tell me she might not be going to school here next year because of money. She might get an apartment and a job and start saving money and going to Purdue.

I just sat there nodding supportively as she was telling me this, thinking, "Are you SERIOUS??? That sounds like something an ADULT would do!!" She's two years younger than me. It's not like it's a bad thing to move out and take life by the horns, it's just . . . I guess I feel like I haven't, so to watch other people do it just amazes me. People YOUNGER than me, for goodness' sake.

For the zillionth time, I want to take time and freeze it. I'm happy right now, where I am. But if time keeps passing like this, I might have to graduate and get a job and stop sleeping with my stuffed elephant. This whole passage of time business has got to stop.

fore :: aft